reward and recognition for what nature has randomly assigned? amusing but rather unnecessary.
i've got an excessive population of babies in my direct vicinity. doesnt help with Construction's unabashed establishment of its presence here as well. great background music to study to.
24 hours of nothing is a long time.
two valleys suspend, cloaked in tension. a land breeze sweeps over, tormenting the patient willow. the river below races frantically, as if the ocean lurking beyond can offer improved solace. then, at last, night falls. slowly and softly, the smooth silence tenderly kisses the parched land. it blankets even the deepest crevasses that have been left dormant for so long. leaving in its wake the intense, possibly violent need to defend status quo.
really, all that matters is the intent behind the action.
this night is wild, so calm and dull these hearts they race from self-control we're doing fine we're doing nothing at all.
perfection at 9:00 PM
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Sunday, November 15, 2009
now. but a bunch of warriors each fighting their own battles. each with their own story to tell.
listen to me now. i need to let yall know. yall dont have to go it alone.
according to social psychologist, Arthur Aron, a central human motivation is self-expansion. this is the desire to overlap or blend with another person, so that one has access to that person's knowledge, insights and experience, thus broadening and deepening one's own experience of life.
yall dont have to put up a fight yall dont have to always be right let me take some of the punches tonight sometimes you cant make it on your own.
perfection at 4:55 PM
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Saturday, November 14, 2009
testimony of the day. assumed: deadline on Saturday, 24th October 2009, 0000. actual: deadline on Sunday, 25th October 2009, 0000. deadline totally slipped my mind. talk about the benefits of going to church.
a shrivelled entity. a result of the concentration gradient effect. if you dont produce it, you steal it from your environment.
you cant afford not to lie in this environment. its a greater ill not to know how to lie effectively and convincingly given this environment. aint that a sad truth. insight after the dreaded project. yet it is by looking at the need to lie to different segments of people that indicate their meaning and importance to you. you may say, distorting the truth to your loved ones is just an act of maintaining peace and equilibrium. i mean after all, ignorance is bliss right. then what is that so-called understanding that you share with them? if you really believe some things are better left unsaid, then dont let any part of that ever see the light of day. that is, if your conscience actually permits you so. insight bestowed by family, or so-called family.
not that kind of affirmation. its nice, but way too temporary.
i am alone at a crossroads i'm not at home in my own home and i tried and tried to say whats on my mind you should have known now i'm done believing you you dont know what i'm feeling i'm more than what you made of me i followed the voice you think you gave to me but now i gotta find my own.
perfection at 2:55 PM
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Thursday, October 15, 2009
then there are those times when i want to refuse.
maybe the older you get, the more zen-like your world perspective becomes. you start to realize that certain things are part and parcel of this life and that no amount of whining and complaining changes the reality of it. you also realize that a lot of things are actually within your power to control and that you were never subject to conventional mindsets all along. but when you start the evolution towards this end of the scale, you begin to lose the zest and excitement for the little things that were once the source of your amusement. you start to view everything as being in a state of equilibrium, of apparent rest, of supposed existence. dont touch, unless you're prepared to handle change. is it really a good thing when peace comes from the absence of concern? its time for revision.
never write someone a love song. for you never know when that love might leave. leaving you with a sodden memory of a fool's endeavours.
let me do something about this distance. i cannot see how faith and believing suffice. deeds? deeds could be for the sole purpose of assuring myself and nothing more. how do i do this.
you're still you to me. although your demeanour occasionally puzzles. and our conversations rarely strike the chords they used to. you're still that person many years ago, who wept as you told me the most beautiful story. at least to me, i remember you that way.
great, deadlines galore.
dont stray dont ever go away i should be much too smart for this you know it gets the better of me sometimes.
perfection at 1:23 AM
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Sunday, October 04, 2009
some semblance of a breather. just a small window. then back again.
i literally walked down my memory lane. both heartwarming and heartrending.
we are sufficiently equipped with self-deluding devices. contrary to popular belief, they actually aid in preventing self-destruction. sometimes, the illusion of the ideal self preserves one better than the accurate depiction of the actual self.
censorship has cost me my security.
usually, no footprints are left in the snow.
freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.
another packaged lie to keep us trapped in greed and all the green belts wrapped around our minds and endless red tape to keep the truth confined if you could flick a switch and open your third eye you'd see that we should never be afraid to die.
perfection at 2:40 PM
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Monday, September 21, 2009
nobody can tell cause i do it too well.
"It is the mind which creates the world about us, and even though we stand side by side in the same meadow, my eyes will never see what is beheld by yours." - George Gissing, The Private Papers of Henry Ryecroft, 1903 -
all this skirt-wearing is making lose my mojo.
down. with all the wrong things coursing through my veins.
i should start learning to do my runs in jazz intervals. knowing some native african language also helps in scats. fun fact. for every first-rate scat-singer in the world, there must be 500 talented jazz saxophonists. so yea, its so much more than instrumental improvisation.
what do you get for trying minute you're born, you're dying the body is six feet down the Lord says the soul sticks around.
perfection at 4:20 AM
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Wednesday, September 09, 2009
my television has become obsolete.
No one I think is in my tree. I mean it must be high or low. That is, you can't, you know, tune in but its alright. That is, I think its not too bad.
these days, the only things i read are textbooks and IVLE announcements. how cool is that. a life of ultimate productivity. although the above statement is really perspective-dependent.
the doors in this house that i'm thankful for. the front door. for always requiring me to wrestle it before it will open up or close. and for confusing my friends about the direction in which they have to turn the lock. the maid's room door. for constantly signalling when there is strong wind in the house. the downstairs-toilet door. for not even qualifying as a door as anyone can break through it with sufficient force. the kitchen door. for protecting dog-intolerators like jael and alicia from the ferocious canine. the sliding glass door. for allowing the ferocious canine to clamber and slobber his juices all over it. the master bedroom door. for being hypersensitive to pressure differences in the room. the brother's room door. for jangling every time it opens or closes due to numerous belts being hung on its rear. the upstairs-toilet door. for being hollow, hence allowing all the weird sounds made in it to resonate and be amplified. my door. for simply being my door. and for indicating that it has been left at an angle greater than the critical angle by free-falling towards my wall and causing a ruckus with the metal bin.
i cant believe The Beatles' material calls for acquired taste. i can only shake my head in disbelief.
first test of the semester. tomorrow.
happy anniversary, mom and dad.
in every victory, let it be said of me my source of strength, my source of hope is Christ the Lord.
